As far as a new boyfriend is concerned, on holidays, it’s not OK to go a little crazy in the gift department.
Relationships often blossom during the holidays if they are handled with just the right amount of discretion and planning. A happy holiday with a dating partner improves the odds that eventually lead to a loving relationship.
Here are a few tips to make it happen on Christmas, Kwanza, Ramadan or Chanukah:
Don’t Be a Knit-wit
Don’t make anything; not a scarf, cake, or card. Hand-framed photographs and homemade sound tracks should be put off until six months into the relationship. Even cooking a holiday dinner may be overdoing it. Glamour Magazine has a name for such gifts: Duncan Hindsight, which is what a woman applies after her date beats a hasty retreat.
Making gifts for a boyfriend implies spending and investing a great deal of time and effort in an uncommitted relationship. This casts a woman in an adolescent light. It’s nice to be a giving person in a relationship, but don’t give too much, too soon; it looks desperate.
Less Time Together is More
Spending winter holidays together pulls out the big guns because in addition to the normal unbearable stress of the holiday season, couples are adding a huge test to their relationship complete with relatives, religion, gifts, and assorted other baggage; maybe even ex-wives.
A couple enters a relationship territory if they decide to spend the holiday together. In fact, they may wish to subdue the impact by spending only a portion of the day together or just calling each other in the evening. There isn’t a prospective couple on earth who hasn’t looked into each other’s eyes on such occasions and wondered, “Could I spend this holiday with this person again? Could I do it forever?” The pressure is enormous.
Be Particular about Partying
The winter holidays bring a round of parties at which a woman should look appropriately fetching and act particularly charming as she witnesses the indignity, adultery, faithlessness, and substance abuse that accompanies these festive galas.
Since the holiday season is often interpreted as a warning flare that they are sinking into the morass of age without a partner, beware of desperate unattached women and bachelor men who attempt to ensnare single women and their boyfriends at these fetes. Horrific fights can result when drunken singles follow someone to the coat closet or to the bathroom and proceed to compromise reputations and relationships. Even worse, are unhappily married couples with craws full of eggnog who become convinced that life with their spouse is very, very sad and that only a complete change of marital scenery can save them. To avoid misunderstandings, keep mingling to a minimum at Christmas parties, don’t drink, and stick close to a partner.
Commercialism is a Christmas Tradition
As far as a new boyfriend is concerned, on Christmas, whatever he gives should be received with hosanna and kisses, unless, perhaps, he gives nothing at all in which case there should be no plans for future Christmas galas or, for that matter, any plans whatsoever. It is unbelievably cheap and tacky not to get a girlfriend some sort of token gift, and if he doesn’t, he betrays a miserliness of character and a general coldness that it would be best not to count on in the long term.
It’s the Little Things that Last on Holidays
Pay attention to intuition when celebrating holidays with a new boyfriend and look for signs of sharing and giving. Does it feel comfortable or awkward or even boring being with him for extended periods of holiday time? Does he bring anything to the holiday table, any traditions, customs, recipes, ideas, games? Is he funny or sullen? Is he a couch potato or active?
One reason a lot of single men and women want to hook up with a partner is to ensure that they don’t spend holidays alone. But it is more fun to commemorate holidays as a single person than it is to hook up with the wrong person. Pay attention to the little holiday idiosyncrasies that last and grow larger with each passing New Year.