Women traditionally lament the death of the gentleman in a postmodern society, a byproduct perhaps on the lack of emphasis placed on traditional gender roles and a growing lack of instruction in the art of manners. While the modern or postmodern gentleman may no longer need to speak in the highest of diction or lay his coat on the ground for his lady, some level of chivalry is appropriate when delivered correctly.
How to Be a Good Listener and a Thoughtful Conversationalist
Perhaps the most important feature of being a gentleman is to master the art of conversation. Men and women love to engage in polite conversation. Becoming a better speaker and listener will benefit a man not simply romantically but in the business and academics as well.
Being a good listener goes a long way. There is no need to be overly loquacious so long as your conversation partner(s) are willing to go the extra mile and keep on gabbing! If you are paying attention, offering your input will be a snap! Be sure to maintain some degree of eye contact (though perhaps not constant, unless you are trying to romance or creep out your date!).
Latch on to comments that particularly interest you or that relate to an idea or concept that you know a great deal about – this will make it much easier to inject your own opinions and thoughts into the mix!
Being a thoughtful, entertaining, or witty conversationalist may be a bit more difficult and require a good deal of practice for some. The best way to ensure success is to play up on your strengths as a speaker and to forget about pretending to be someone that you are not. Sarcastic individuals might do well to curb their bite and offer slightly less incisive or incendiary comments around more delicate or serious persons, for example.
The very first step is in determining the lay of the land (ie. the attitudes of your companions), and proceeding from there.
Show Some Respect – Treating Others as Equals, Valued Partners
While humility may not be the best descriptor of the behaviour best suited for gents, some degree of modesty is a requisite for attaining the mantle of World’s Greatest Gentleman. Too much humility is equally detrimental to the cause of social manoeuvering as too much hubris – romantic partners are just as put off by those who come off as weak or depressive as by those who are boastful and superficial.
Nice guys finish last is a maxim that may bear some kernel of truth – but mean-spirited men are also sometimes circumvented in their abilities to attract quality mates. Like may, in many cases, attract like. For this reason, it is always best to take the rather motherly advice to treat others as you, yourself, would like to be treated.
By being kind, considerate, and yet firm in your own personal convictions – one can earn a great deal of respect from their partners – romantic, familial, friendly, or corporate.
Dress the Part – How to Dress Like a True Gentleman
While little space remains to discuss this point in great detail, the basics remain foundation for any understanding of what constitutes a gentleman’s dress code. Always attempt to take the look one step above what the crowd is wearing – you want to stand out in a positive and attractive way! For this reason, general date attire should at least involve a nice sweater, a collared shirt, or a sportcoat worn with dress jeans in excellent repair.
Women pay attention to details, particularly fashion and wardrobe details. Prospective employers are no different! For this reason it is always best to put your best foot forward and make sure that your clothing is current, fitted appropriately, and a cut above the competition.
Like it or not, people do notice a gentleman’s attire and will make judgments on that score!